Dreams..

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you wake up still in the emotion of the dream? A handful of times I have awoken from a dream sobbing! It can take some time to console myself and be reminded that it was only a dream and not actually reality. Those are always the kind of dreams I hate having. It is like all the other dreams, good or bad, follow the rules and stay in your dreams but these seem to be the unruly dreams they cross some line between dream and reality making that emotion feel as strong as anything I have ever felt.
Well a couple of nights ago I had a dream like this except I wasn't crying I was laughing! I was laughing out loud and so much so that when I woke up my cheeks and sides were hurting. I continued laughing for awhile until I finally went back to sleep promising myself I would remember what I was dreaming about, and of course I didn't.

I am ready....

Ok, I am ready for Christmas! bring it on...........oh crap! So maybe it is a couple days to late but I really feel like Christmas now. ha! Well bring on the New year then. That I am ready for! 2010 is going to be an interesting year! I am very hopeful about this year and think it will have a lot of great things in store for myself along with friends and family!

I did have a very good Christmas even though I wasn't really ready for it. I got so many great gifts but the best thing I got this year was a small gift with the most amazing note attached to it from a completely anonymous "Santa". This person left me this gift at my parents home (where I celebrated the holiday). My Mom and I both suspected the same people but she asked them individually before I even knew about the gift and they both had the same surprised reaction and asked the same question. I don't know who it was but if by chance they read my blog I would like to say Thank You! That gift and note along with the anonymity was one of the most generous heartfelt gifts I have ever received THANK YOU!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! Bring on the New Year!!!

Whoops..

I have really been thinking about blogging since August (I promise) but again I find that my thoughts don't just write themselves. A lot has been going on lately and not so much all at the same time. First and foremost some very big news, I have officially been medically cleared by the Peace Corps and now I just wait for a placement officer to contact me!!! Yes it does mean more waiting, but I am in a new stage, one step closer to the intended goal which brings me that much closer to NOT waiting anymore. See how that works.

I just returned from a week in Hawaii and it was a much needed vacation! I was on the Big Island for a week! I went snorkeling twice, saw a dolphin, two whales (pretty close up) and a jelly fish! I took my first helicopter ride and saw lava flowing into the ocean! The helicopter landed in an area that was reminiscent of Jurassic Park like settings. It was beautiful and warm and I had great company with my aunt and cousin. I will try and get some pictures posted up sooner rather than later.

My niece is growing like wildfire and I can't believe we are about to meet my nephew in just a few short months! Christmas time is here and trying to find gifts for everyone is proving to be a bit more difficult than I had expected, but then again it always seems to be. I just finished the new Jon Krakauer book, Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman. It was a great read, struggled at times because it would dive in and out of historical facts and would reference many different groups and people that were at times hard to keep track of, but he did a great job (as usual with Krakauer) of detailing the truth behind the person. He illistrates strengths and weeknesses laying out the character of Pat Tillman with what I beleive to be dedication and respect. It is a very hard sobering read! It emphasizes the best of what Americans can be, and the absolute worst that the governement is capable of when they are trying to protect their own agenda and image. His widow, family and friends have developed the Pat Tillman Foundation, which educates people and promotes leadership and change through service. I highly recommend it. If you have ever loved someone you will cry! Be prepared!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas!

Sigh of Relief

Today, Friday August 21,2009, I mailed my medical packet off to the Peace Corps medical review office! I know I said I was hoping to do this almost a month ago, but those pesky immunization records were harder to track down than I had anticipated. None of that matters now because it is off, the ball is in their court. I can't really describe this feeling but it is great! The excitement of the Peace Corps and the process is beginning to return now. Now all I can do is pray that my body is in as good working order as I believe and think it is.

Processing Towards Progression!

Well well well, this Peace Corps thing is actually starting to turn into something now.... Actually that is a complete lie. See when I joined the Peace Corps, I worked hard getting my application ready, writing my essays, dreaming of the places I would go, people I would meet, stressing and prepping for the interview and praying for a nomination. I did all of that, got my nomination and now....Now I wait! I got my medical packet last month after my nomination and I am still trying to track down some of my old records. With any luck I will have it shipped off before the end of the week! I am hoping to be among the 15% of people that actually send it off the first time with everything filled out and all the information collected (yes it really is only 15%). What happens after I send the medical packet? I wait... I was warned this would be a waiting game and I understand that. I guess I thought I was good at waiting. But when you make a commitment and decide to change your life, you want to actually change it, not wait a year to change it! That is by far the hardest part of committing to it. I am almost hoping nothing changes in my life for a year, because depending on what does change that could influence my decision to depart. I have been trying to explain that to people, I am excited to go, but life has a way of happening! I am afraid it is coming across that I am not excited, when I am actually just trying not to get ahead of myself.

On the positive side I am almost done with my medical packet and that will get reviewed soon. Then hopefully I will be cleared and be one HUGE step closer on my wait to an invitation. Some other good news is that my Legal Clearance is currently being reviewed! That's progress baby!

Bean & I

Re-Building Bridges

Sometimes friendships end for a reason, maybe there is a big falling out, maybe there is just a mutual separation of ways. Whatever the cause or reason, after some time has passed, depending on the friendship, it just isn't important any more and it is worth it to re-build that bridge. I have recently reconnected with two people that had been great friends of mine at one time or another, and it feels awesome!

1)The past couple months I have slowly been rebuilding a friendship that ended or maybe went on hiatus about 11 years ago. This girl and I had a bit of a falling out as often can happen with friends, especially in high school. It was nothing major we just went our separate ways. She ended up contacting me while I was in college and we emailed back and forth for awhile only to lose contact again. Fast forward to present times and we have reconnected via Facebook and recently we made the big step into exchanging phone numbers. She called me last night and we chatted and it felt really good to talk to her, but to also know that we are different people now, and the past is right where it belongs, in the past!

2) So in college I had a very close friend, Teri. She and I did everything together, we were both incredibly active in our school and community and did so much of that as a team. We were inseparable until about half way through our junior year, when we had a pretty bad falling out. Truth is we lived together, and friends should never live together! We have not spoken in years and for a long time I had NO interest of attempting contact. Of course my cold heart began to thaw, I grew up and wondered what happened to my one time great friend. Fast Forward to a couple weeks ago I am in a bar talking with a couple cute guys, when this girl comes over (boobs pouring out of her shirt, and committed the female equation of cock blocking for guys!) So we all start chatting and she mentions she is from New York. Teri was from up-state New York and whenever she said she was from New York everyone automatically thought NYC, until she clarified. So being aware that New York actually has more land mass than the city I casually ask her where in NY. Come to find out she is from the same town Teri is from! I just chalked that up to a weird twist of fate, and maybe I should reach out and email her after all. Less than one week after that happened Teri sent me an email and stated that she was back in our old college town for a grad. class and saw a Subaru (my old car) with Oregon license plates! Isn't that CRAZY! (I went to college in a very small town in Colorado in case you don't know why that is crazy.) I haven't told her my story yet, but I am sure she will think that is the worlds way of saying we should be reconnecting at this juncture in our lives. I cannot tell you how much it lifts my spirit to finally have things in a good place with her. After so many years I really didn't think it had any effect on me, but it did. Even if nothing more comes of it, I have positive resolution.

It isn't always easy to reach out to an old friend especially when the separation was rocky. I have been rejected before (to be honest I expected it) but I have also had people tell me how excited they were to hear from me. The truth is both of these friends reached out to me and wanted to pursue that friendship with me again and it feels good! Is there someone your missing or wish you could see how someone is doing? I encourage you to reach out, you never know what you will get good or bad but I believe the reward does out way the risk!