Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Re-Building Bridges


Sometimes friendships end for a reason, maybe there is a big falling out, maybe there is just a mutual separation of ways. Whatever the cause or reason, after some time has passed, depending on the friendship, it just isn't important any more and it is worth it to re-build that bridge. I have recently reconnected with two people that had been great friends of mine at one time or another, and it feels awesome!

1)The past couple months I have slowly been rebuilding a friendship that ended or maybe went on hiatus about 11 years ago. This girl and I had a bit of a falling out as often can happen with friends, especially in high school. It was nothing major we just went our separate ways. She ended up contacting me while I was in college and we emailed back and forth for awhile only to lose contact again. Fast forward to present times and we have reconnected via Facebook and recently we made the big step into exchanging phone numbers. She called me last night and we chatted and it felt really good to talk to her, but to also know that we are different people now, and the past is right where it belongs, in the past!

2) So in college I had a very close friend, Teri. She and I did everything together, we were both incredibly active in our school and community and did so much of that as a team. We were inseparable until about half way through our junior year, when we had a pretty bad falling out. Truth is we lived together, and friends should never live together! We have not spoken in years and for a long time I had NO interest of attempting contact. Of course my cold heart began to thaw, I grew up and wondered what happened to my one time great friend. Fast Forward to a couple weeks ago I am in a bar talking with a couple cute guys, when this girl comes over (boobs pouring out of her shirt, and committed the female equation of cock blocking for guys!) So we all start chatting and she mentions she is from New York. Teri was from up-state New York and whenever she said she was from New York everyone automatically thought NYC, until she clarified. So being aware that New York actually has more land mass than the city I casually ask her where in NY. Come to find out she is from the same town Teri is from! I just chalked that up to a weird twist of fate, and maybe I should reach out and email her after all. Less than one week after that happened Teri sent me an email and stated that she was back in our old college town for a grad. class and saw a Subaru (my old car) with Oregon license plates! Isn't that CRAZY! (I went to college in a very small town in Colorado in case you don't know why that is crazy.) I haven't told her my story yet, but I am sure she will think that is the worlds way of saying we should be reconnecting at this juncture in our lives. I cannot tell you how much it lifts my spirit to finally have things in a good place with her. After so many years I really didn't think it had any effect on me, but it did. Even if nothing more comes of it, I have positive resolution.

It isn't always easy to reach out to an old friend especially when the separation was rocky. I have been rejected before (to be honest I expected it) but I have also had people tell me how excited they were to hear from me. The truth is both of these friends reached out to me and wanted to pursue that friendship with me again and it feels good! Is there someone your missing or wish you could see how someone is doing? I encourage you to reach out, you never know what you will get good or bad but I believe the reward does out way the risk!