Dear Women Who Wear White Pants,

Please know that I think your white pants and skirt are lovely. They offer a great option of clothing to wear in the Spring & Summer that are fresh and airy. White clothing gives a nice clean look and brightens up every outfit. When you purchase white "bottoms" it is important to note the type of fabric, as a light white fabric is going to be see through in every kind of lighting condition. I like to do the hand test, if I slide my hand on the other side of the garment and I can see my hand perfectly, I will not purchase that article of clothing. You should note that as a rule of thumb no matter what your white pants or skirt are made out of, if they are white they ARE going to be see through in one form of lighting or another. It does not matter if you are wearing a thong, or some other sort of special underwear the entire world will see it at one point or another! Just the way you see other woman's underwear when they wear white, we see yours! I see two clear ways to avoid the inevitable fancy panty peep show, #1 if you are wearing a white skirt for goodness sakes by a damn slip AND wear it!!!! #2 Buy Spanx or some other form of thick nude nylon undergarment. It doesn't have to be a full set of nylons but mid thigh is preferable. We are going for the Barbie look (you know when you lift up Barbie's skirt she has two legs but no anatomical issues!) Puh-LEASE take these words of advice to heart because we are just beginning the peep show season and I do not want to see it! Enjoy your white pants and skirts and may the sun not shine to bright or cast to strongly on your drawers!

Sign Sign Everywhere A Sign

Been looking for signs lately? I have, and nothing fails to give you a clear and direct sign quite like a fortune from a fortune cookie. Apparently the universe was really trying to send me a sign because one of the two fortune cookies I had actually had two fortunes........

Here are my signs:

• Watch for a stranger to soon become a friend
• Next summer, you will dance to a different beat
• You will find your horizons suddenly broadened.
  

Thank you universe!!! Message received!