Dear Women Who Wear White Pants,

Please know that I think your white pants and skirt are lovely. They offer a great option of clothing to wear in the Spring & Summer that are fresh and airy. White clothing gives a nice clean look and brightens up every outfit. When you purchase white "bottoms" it is important to note the type of fabric, as a light white fabric is going to be see through in every kind of lighting condition. I like to do the hand test, if I slide my hand on the other side of the garment and I can see my hand perfectly, I will not purchase that article of clothing. You should note that as a rule of thumb no matter what your white pants or skirt are made out of, if they are white they ARE going to be see through in one form of lighting or another. It does not matter if you are wearing a thong, or some other sort of special underwear the entire world will see it at one point or another! Just the way you see other woman's underwear when they wear white, we see yours! I see two clear ways to avoid the inevitable fancy panty peep show, #1 if you are wearing a white skirt for goodness sakes by a damn slip AND wear it!!!! #2 Buy Spanx or some other form of thick nude nylon undergarment. It doesn't have to be a full set of nylons but mid thigh is preferable. We are going for the Barbie look (you know when you lift up Barbie's skirt she has two legs but no anatomical issues!) Puh-LEASE take these words of advice to heart because we are just beginning the peep show season and I do not want to see it! Enjoy your white pants and skirts and may the sun not shine to bright or cast to strongly on your drawers!

Sign Sign Everywhere A Sign

Been looking for signs lately? I have, and nothing fails to give you a clear and direct sign quite like a fortune from a fortune cookie. Apparently the universe was really trying to send me a sign because one of the two fortune cookies I had actually had two fortunes........

Here are my signs:

• Watch for a stranger to soon become a friend
• Next summer, you will dance to a different beat
• You will find your horizons suddenly broadened.
  

Thank you universe!!! Message received!

Whole Foods...

Did you hear about the story out of an Oklahoma Whole Foods where they found the worlds deadliest spider (The Brazilian Wandering Spider) just hanging out in the produce section!!!! Holy cow I would have died if I had found it (who am I kidding I would have died if I had SEEN it)!!!

"On Sunday an employee found the spider wandering across the bananas in the produce section"

Apparently this sort of thing "happens all the time" but this is such a dangerous and aggressive spider with a really strong venom (30 min. after a bite your toast). It is going to be awhile before I can go to a produce section again!!! Thankfully the local farmer markets will start opening soon and I won't have to worry about an attack from a deadly spider.......

Goodie!

Found another new blog, well new to me, apparently old to most others! It is called "Stuff White People Like" It is hilarious and awesome! In the celebration of St. Patricks day here is the link to their blog on St. Patricks day! Enjoy

Bumper Stickers

Sometimes I like bumper stickers, sometimes they make me mad and then there are the times that it seems like you were meant to be behind this car and read this bumper sticker. As I was overwhelmed with my unusually high stress and life load lately (see previous posts) I was driving to go pick up some stuff for work and saw this bumper stick:

"Dont Be Afraid."
-God


Perfect!

Glen

I don't know if any of you folks out there know who Glen Hansard is, but he is a really great musician. He sings one of my favorite songs, Falling Slowly with Marketa Irglova. Anyhoo he was on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and did the most beautiful cover of Hairshirt, by R.E.M. give it a listen when you have some time or want to chill...

Glen Hansard, Hairshirt

Update: for some reason I linked to the wrong video, so NOW here is the right video (hopefully!!)

Third time is the charm!!! The link will take to you the song, no video....